You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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