I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
