Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
