I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
