Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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