She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
