Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
