I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
