i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
