Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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