Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
