My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize