In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I have tasted many bathrooms
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
