I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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