I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
