I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
