im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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