We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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