woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
