So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
