You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
