just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize