Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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