Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
