You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
