And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
