So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
