Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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