i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
