chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
