I love black thongs
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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