So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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