Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
