I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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