i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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