i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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