at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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