Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
