I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
