your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think my moral compass just broke
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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