the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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