Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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