I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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