I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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