we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
