My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
