sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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