We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
