I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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