seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
