no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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