Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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