Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Im part way to drunk.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Randomize
