Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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