He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
