i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
did you just send me my own nude
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
