sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
