oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
