I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
